"I'm a pretentious ass!"

It's true you know. David Lynch is the most pretentious, annoyingly avant garde imbacile ever to be given a camera. Am I exadgerating? Have you seen Mullholland Drive? On first watch, I thought maybe I had missed something. Maybe I had somehow gotten food poisoning and fallen into a coma for some key parts of the film, and upon second viewing, all would become immaculately, blatantly clear. Not so. I watched it again. Same utter bewilderment. So I brought it up with a friend. He thought I was just too unenlightened / closed minded / functionally retarded to understand the vast awesomeness of Lynch's vision. "I'm sure it makes sense, you're just missing the point" he claimed, "there's no way it can be as bad as you're saying". Aaah, how foolish he was. With him, I endured the stupid film a third time, and we spent the remainder of the evening in a vein attempt to piece toegther some semblance of logical meaning. And... no. Not a shred.

Rinkworks.com has an excellent summation of his works:

Some Woman
I do enjoy my nice, idyllic lifestyle, but I hope that underneath my seemingly perfect suburban world there is corruption and evil. (SOME WOMAN discovers her OWN CORPSE and is ARRESTED.)

Midget
Someday that gum you like is going to come back in style.

Hit Man
(laughs cryptically) (An EYE is slit open with a RAZOR BLADE. We learn that SOMEBODY was really SOME WOMAN all along, and they were on the MOON.)

THE END

That's really not that far off. You can imagine the frustration of trying to piece together something from that sort of nonsense, some reason behind what I've spent the last 2 hours of my life doing. Alas, none to be found.

Bits of the movie can be fudged to make sense. If you were to see one scene alone, it would appear to be a fragment of a greater, incredibly exestential, interesting and mentally stimulating work. Problem is, there is a complete and total lack of cohesion. Though maybe it makes sense to him. Because he's evidently a giant loon:

David Lynch starts a new foundation based on meditation Director David Lynch is using his own money to launch the David Lynch Foundation for Consciousness-Based Education and World Peace. He plans to establish transcendental meditation (or "TM") courses and study how yoga affects the "brain and body."

Despite "hating speaking in public," Lynch, 59, says he decided "to stop being quiet" about his passion for the 47-year-old Hindu chanting technique after observing the sad state of education in U.S. schools.
Today's students "are even more stressed out. Their schools are hellholes," he goes on. "They're getting pathetic educations. They're not going forward with full decks of cards."

Students who meditate, he says, "will start shining like a bright, shiny penny, and their anxieties will go away. By diving within, they will attain a field of pure consciousness, pure bliss, creativity, intelligence, dynamic peace. You enliven the field, and every day it gets better. Negativity recedes."

Yeah, brilliant there Lynchy. Let's get all the troubled teens to... wait for it... meditate their aggression away! What a viable idea! You dolt!

... I hate that man...