Who would you most trust to kill a man with their bare hands?

To me that question is an apt one to ask of a head coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs. We Leafs fans are not rational people. Nay, we're the sort to hang on to our shreds of dignity, our failing hopes, and the words of the most low-level trainers with equally morbid voracity. So really, killing a man for the sake of our team is pretty much above board.

Pictured on the right is our current head coach, and generally fat bastard, Pat Quinn. Ol Quinny hasn't brought much to the table, in my opinion. He's a man who paired Jonas Hoglund with Sundin for 3 consecutive seasons. Hoglund. A man so incompetant, he was given a shot at the bottom-dwelling Panthers training camp, and was rejected. Quinn is a guy who has held fast to his loyalties to Antropov, possibly the weakest hitting and most injury prone big guy I've ever seen on skates. It's like he's made out of feathers that snap on contact. A man who stuck with Karpotsev and Korolev and a whole slew of useless piles of crap along those lines. A man who doesn't believe in matching lines, because that's evidently too involved / logical.

And really, his face betrays this incompetance. Look at that smug, "I'm a big dope" kinda grin smacked all over him. I wouldn't trust this guy to kill much other than a bottle of scotch.

Pictured left is (hopefully), the coach of the future. Paul Maurice, the man who brought the generally panned Carolina Hurricanes to the Eastern Conferance final. The man who looks like his eyes could shoot lasers, and his mind could do unseemly things to yours. Look at that steely gaze... you don't mess with that. If you're playing for him, I can only imagine you'd quickly develop a fear for your life, and the lives of your family, and you play your little heart out.

Doesn't he look dangerous, just staring down pathetic Pat? Doesn't Pat look just a touch less comfortable than he did a minute ago?

Please, Leafs management. Just make this fan happy and make the switch. Think of the children. Specifically those Maurice clearly eats every night he isn't a major league coach.