Penny Arcade nails the E3 presentations

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Brilliant take - pretty accurate.

MS kicked some serious ass, showing actual gameplay and announcing release dates(!) of their key upcoming exclusives (Fable II, GOW II), and of other big games (Rockband II, Guitar Hero World Tour, RE5), stole FFXIII exclusivity, and announced a better dashboard with more features. They had such a stacked showing, they decided at the last minute to pull the announcement of a new Halo game, so they could save it for its own event. They did try and introduce a bunch of things for the "mainstream" gaming audience, hence the PA depiction of them as being unclear on what they are, but as long as they still bring the goods for hardcore gamers, as they are doing, everyone should end up happy.

Nintendo brought in the enhanced motion sensor attachment, which provides what I believe should have been there in the first place - true 1:1 movement input. They bragged for awhile about selling a bazillion Wiis, and announced two games that look like balls (from my perspective) - Wii sports rehashed in a beach setting (yay, I can throw a frisbee to a doggie!), and Wii music, which looks to be best mastered by flailing your arms wildly. Not particularly impressed. Hence the depiction as arrogant but useless.

Sony announced functionality available on Xbox for 2 years, failed to announce even a Home BETA (that's rapidly becoming a huge debacle for them, as Google and MS appear to have beaten them to the punch), and showed off a prerendered GOWIII trailer. One thing that did impress was their demo of MAG - a multiplayer squad based shooter with support for 256 players in one game. That was the one ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak showing. Their big line was "if this is how we look in year 2, imagine what year 3 and beyond will be like", hence their depiction of a beggar asking for just one more year to make good on their promises.

A music video so bad, your head will explode.

If you can listen to this song for more than 45 seconds, you're a stronger person than me. Its just heinous, like a carnival song gone horribly wrong. Its almost like the musicians are conspiring to create the worst music imaginable, by (doubtless) ingesting very strong drugs and abandoning any semblance of coordination. Truly a remarkable feat... and one that should never EVER be repeated.

Gorbachev sets wenches free, brings twinkies.

Buff Gorbachev imitator, flexing his pecs? Check. Green goo oozing evil soviets? Check. Big boobed enslaved Soviet wenches, set free by his reichness, into a sea of twinkies and coke? Check.

Possibly the craziest music video ever? BIG check.


GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.